Encyclopaedia of Tiny Facts

Located in Husavik (formerly Reykjavik), this humble museum boasts a collection of over 150 penis specimens from mammals indigenous to Iceland; this includes several dozen whale penises, a penis belonging to a rogue polar bear, an affidavit from Pall Arason, who will posthumously donate his penis, and a folkloric section which includes specimens from an Icelandic Elf, Beach Murmurer, Icelandic Christmas Lad, Enriching Beach Mouse, and a Seabull; according to its website, the Icelandic Institute of Phallology has four categories of honorary members: “donors of genuine, phallic pieces,” “donors of extra things, a work of art, etc. and other true benefactors of the Institute,” “pseudomember, having shown special interest in the works and development of the Institute,” and “expelled members”; when I visited the Icelandic Phallological Museum with my (ex) girlfriend, it was still located in Reykjavik, and, as it was January, there was roughly four and half hours of sunlight a day; the museum was closed; we arrived in Iceland on a Monday and left that Thursday; a natural geothermal spa called The Blue Lagoon is Iceland’s most famous tourist destination; we did not go to The Blue Lagoon; while in Iceland I consumed Hakarl (putrefied shark), which I did not enjoy, and, after asking a waitress at a local tavern for her favorite menu item, I ordered monkfish with a cheesy wine sauce and bananas; to my surprise, it was delicious; I bought seven CD’s while in Iceland, none of which included Bjork or Sigur Ros; apparently, Bjork is pronounced “bee-yerk,” rhyming with “work”; downtown Reykjavik reminds me of Providence, Rhode Island, though different in certain ways; one of these ways is the profound Viking beauty of the Icelandic people; my girlfriend and I broke up one and a half years after visiting Iceland; the Icelandic Phallological Museum owns a penis specimen from an adult Sperm whale, who was 15.8 meters long and died from intestinal blockage; the Sperm whale’s penis, preserved in formalin, measures 170 cm.