Encyclopaedia of Tiny Facts

Jell-O 1-2-3 was a delicious Jell-O product introduced in 1969 and discontinued in 1996; the product was one 4.3 ounce (121 g) mix that separated into three distinct layers: foam, Jell-O, and a foamy Jell-O hybrid, not quite custard; this is a rare example of a mass-produced food product being magical; Jell-O’s primary ingredient is gelatin, which is made with collagen extracted from animal’s “connective tissue”; “connective tissue” is an upsetting way to describe the main ingredient in a dessert product; Chris, my childhood neighbor and friend, had ADHD, anger management problems, an emotionally abusive mother, a frequently drunk father, and took out much of his frustration on small dogs; his mother owned a poodle and would feed the dog raw steak and kiss him on the mouth; Chris liked to kick the poodle and yell at it, addressing the dog by his mother’s name; Chris’ father worked at a bottling plant; this ensured an endless supply of soft drinks and beer at Chris’ home; Chris and I were addicted to WWF wrestling and raspberry Clearly Canadian; in the summer, we spent entire days at Chris’ pool, and his mother would make us hotdogs, baked beans, and Jell-O 1-2-3; my memory of Jell-O 1-2-3 is inseparable from my memories of Chris’ pool; when Chris’ parents went inside, we snuck Miller High-Life from the mini-fridge next to the pool; I drank in moderation; Chris did not; in the morning, we found drowned insects in Chris’ pool; we staged mock funerals for the dead crickets and beetles and moths; sometimes, Chris would stack the insects in a pile, douse them in lighter fluid, and create a funeral pyre; Chris’ mother would bring out our lunch on blue plastic plates; she put the Jell-O 1-2-3 in red plastic bowls; after Chris threatened to kill my friend William with his poodle’s choke chain, I stopped spending as much time at his house; most people my age do not seem to remember Jell-O 1-2-3; Jell-O 1-2-3 was best enjoyed with a cold can of Crystal Pepsi; I would be willing to pay as much as twenty dollars for a box of Jell-O 1-2-3; I still do not understand the strange chemistry of Jell-O 1-2-3.